being twenty-something

they call it the "quarter-life crisis." it is when you stop going along
with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself
that you didn't know and may not like.

you start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or
two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. you start
realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you
thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have
ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

what you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't
really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you.

you look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought
you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that
you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and
find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you
have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to
your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

one minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. you laugh and
cry with the greatest force of your life.you feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy
and you try to cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that
the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do
but stay where you are or move forward.

you get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do
such damage to you. or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone
decent enough that you want to get to know better.

or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure
out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
One-night-stands and random hook-ups start to look cheap. getting
wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

you go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk
with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a
decision.

you worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...
and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to
be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this
relates to it.

we are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as
we can to figure this whole thing out... "I bend but I do not break."