The thing is, I never meant for her to feel that way. I didn't want her to feel left out, or that my dad and I are ganging up on her. I'd never do that! But she makes it difficult for me to be open to her about my relationship. She gets mad when I ask for permission to go out. She puts up this front when he comes over, so I think, maybe she really does like him.

So today, she's mad at me. I asked for permission to go have dinner with him and his family and she goes off saying, "Why don't you just ask your dad? What do you need me for?" I told her I was meaning to tell her, really. But I was scared. The last time I told her I had a boyfriend, she cried. What do you expect? But I was planning to tell her. My dad just beat me to it. And now, I just feel like crap. And even Ton feels bad. God. And it's all my fault.

I really hope things finally fall into place. She hates me. /: Or the situation. Or whatever. There's just too much tension between us. I can't even talk to her without feeling like she's going to burst into another sermon. I love my mom but sometimes she gives me reason to just stay away.

Hay.