It's been raining and the only thing good about it is the cool weather. It was great being in an airconditioned room for a class that runs `til 7 in the evening. (: Too bad some classmates thought it was a bit too cold so they turned down (or off?) the aircon. Kaye and I started fanning ourselves after awhile. Haha.

We talked about CONFLICT in class today. In another class, I was told that I use the "FORCING" style of conflict management the most. Then, in IPC today, we talked about conflict and how it's actually helpful in a relationship. Our teacher told us a story about a couple who went for counselling before their marriage. The pastor asked them how many times they've fought in their relationship. And they said they've never had a major fight. The pastor told them to fight first then, he'll marry them.

I just remembered how I never fought with my ex. (Oooh, incidentally, it's his birthday today.) Never. I never really pick a fight with anyone, and I don't know if it's a good thing. I get along with everyone, generally. I only fight with my family. Haha. But there, today, I learned something. How do you know your relationship is healthy if you don't know whether or not you'll be able to reconcile and get across whatever conflict you have with each other, if you don't fight? Not to say that I'm going to start fighting with my friends, but you know. I suppose it's not a good thing to gunny sack (oooh! I was able to use the term!), saving up all your "sama ng loob" for that single time you decide to, uh, erupt. It's always good to tell a person how you feel exactly rather than keep it to yourself.

But how can I even be "forcing" when I don't even have anything to force? Hmm. Weird. All this Speech Comm information is making me overanalyze things.

oOo

I missed the auditions for ELEVATE tonight. My class is `til 7 and it just ended when I arrived at the gym. Great. I'm not really expecting to get in since they're only getting twenty? fifteen? people. Doh. So obviously the people from Team A & B will be the ones competing. But maybe I'd just like the thrill of being able to audition. The thought of passing it up would be stupid. I mean, why else did I risk all the knee-bruises and muscle pains if I'm not even going to try, right? So judgment day for me (and the bunch of people who didn't come tonight) is on Thursday. I'll work on the routine in my head whenever I can't practice for real and I'll keep running it when I can. So even if I don't get in, I can make like William Hung and say, "I did my best and I have no regrets."

This is love! Jason Mraz was amazing. I never thought I'd actually see him perform live. Last night was definitely one of the best nights. I was with two of my best friends and the guy I really really like. Who's to complain? (:

When he first came out, I couldn't help but let out a hoot. (And I don't do this very often.) I love this man. Thank you to Mika who introduced me to his music. He sang and it felt just.. incredible. It was overwhelming, to say the least. I didn't know where to look - on stage straight at him or on the screen, which projected his face. I was singing to all of the songs and I kept whispering how amazing he was and how I couldn't believe I was seeing him live. I still can't believe it.

I was at an arm's length from him. I saw him in the flesh. I have a picture of his ear. (Haha) I have memories of last night that I can never ever reproduce with these words I try to work with. All I know is, I was extremely happy last night.

And so what if my CD remains unsigned? My ears are still ringing with his voice. Thank God for people like him, who make music that feeds the soul.

I can't believe I'm going to walk in front of people parading my not-so-tiny stomach. Ugh. The things you do for your best friend. I'll be so glad when that's over. But hopefully, tomorrow night will be fun. No more "real" food starting tomorrow morning. HAHA. AS IF! Man. My stomach's got to be flat as a board! I don't want to be jiggling all over the ramp.

Moving on.

I missed American Idol tonight. I wonder when the replay is. It's one of those things that makes me forget about thesis, about Elevate, about the concert. About practically every single thing that gives me stress nowadays. Hay.

Em asked me this morning how he is. And I surprised even myself. "I miss him." O:

It's too early to say but I'm really interested in getting into children's lit. It was all because of this one poem for my CW class. It was something I didn't really put much thought into. For some reason, I feel as though my hands find it easier to scribble words to the sound of a poem rather than something in paragraphs. Not to say that I'm a great poet - far from it, but at least I'm more confident about workshops concerning poetry than short stories.

So yesterday in CW class, I was the first to be critiqued. Instead of the incredible number of negative (ahem, constructive) comments I got in the past workshop, the good ones outnumbered the not-so-good ones. Surprisingly, even the ones who were usually mean at the workshops actually liked the poem. Hooray for 8-color Crayolas! (:

I liked what this girl told me before class (we were both too early), "Your poem has a future! I'm telling you." I thought she was just being nice, since she looked at my poem in front of me right when I arrived. But after the class, she told me, "See? I told you you have a future with this." That was sweet.

My titos and titas think I should write something and my cousin (an amazing children's book illustrator) will illustrate something for it - and then, we'll have it published. Ah, I wish! I wish! I didn't realize writing for children was so tough. But yes, now I have an even more real dream. To write for children. Something that, someday, my own children will read. (: Wouldn't that be nice?

I always appreciate gifts because in my family, we don't really give each other gifts - except maybe during Christmas. Yes, we treat each other to pizza or save the last piece of chocolate for another, but more often than not, we don't give each other gifts on birthdays and such. My parents don't really give me gifts either. They give me the license to throw a party, yes. They give me a camera so I can take pictures of my mom's jewelry, and somehow, that carries over as my birthday-slash-Christmas gift. I'm not one to complain though.

But anyway. I suppose that's why I almost always love the gifts that people give me. It doesn't matter if it's a book, or a journal, or even just a pen. I just automatically like it! I especially like the occasional surprise of silly little messages scribbled onto cardboard cutout from a Pretzel's box. Or a piece of notebook paper torn off with a drawing of a heart.



...

We're starting the choreo for this year's Elevate. I told myself that maybe I should just give it up. I'm not going to be part of it, I'm semi-sure. (What confidence!) But after learning the dance, I WANT TO JOIN! ): Good luck. It's super snappy and fast and it'll look so amazing if we pull it off. I don't know when the auditions are, but if I don't make the cut, I hope to at least get to dance it in the concert.

Speaking of the concert, we're all set to sell tickets and send out flyers but there's a slight problem. I have no idea how we're going to pull it off, but supposedly all org activities should end by MARCH 8, 2004 - which is a huge problem because our concert is five days after!!! Oh no.

He/She just doesn't know when to stop. Messages as of today:

"ey!whats up?rmember me?its Paul frm ateneo and the bro of Kristine..she told me game kadaw sa gangrape?wow!kailan m gus2?wel pck u up at [my address here] 2nyt?" - 3:40pm

"maCy,wer really going to ur plce at [address here]..lumaBas ka ha,if ayaw m0,mpipilitan kming guluhn ka sa bhay m0!n0 j0ke girl..BE READY!" - 5:50pm

"between 11pm to 1am! wer riding a toyota prado n0 othr clues.." - 5:52pm

WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!? I've been ignoring their messages for the past week or so. I do not know these people. Why are they doing this to me?

So I met his friends last night. They're a pretty fun bunch, I can tell - maybe because they were all kind of tipsy already? I honestly thought I'd feel out of place and be all quiet and shy (because I usually am with new people). Surprisingly, they were chatting me up and being really nice. Had a couple of shots of some blue drink. "Juice lang `yan!" An hour later, my lips were numb and my face was seriously red. Haha. Allergies suck. We had to go home early though because he had an upset stomach and couldn't take it anymore. It was fine with me because I never really liked the crowd in places like, ugh, Ponti. All those beautiful people crammed into one room, making beso with each other and staring at the first odd one to come through the door. Tsk. This is the first time in months that I've gone out-out. It wasn't so bad

We won yesterday in JiG! (: Oh my. I couldn't contain my happiness when they were announced as the champions! I honestly thought CADS was going to get it since they were awarded Best in Choreography. But THANK YOU LORD! We were all jumping around and hooting. I could tell the people behind us were pretty much pissed off because we were so noisy. Screw them. School pride, yo. We all went to the area where the performers were and gave everyone a big hug. Of course everyone had to notice my hair. Haha! Tomorrow is judgement day. Will it stay straight or not? d: